Believe me now

 

When is it gonna end for me? I wonder...

Giving up the troubles is giving up the joys

As I lay down here on cold floors, in silence

You yell one more time, shut the door with noise.

No matter how far I run or make progress

You'll always be there to kick rocks in my face.

People want you to feel good, but then confess

You're not supposed to have better days.

Seeing me in denial that it's never been mine

Your heart's always harder every time I cry

Have been in places you don't believe exist

Got hurt when I tried to open your fist.

No one's gonna win in this world of yours

You see hell in heaven, shutting all the doors

Don't wanna be here, but there's no place to go

Always stuck with the people glued to their ego.

No one can save you, you're blind to them all

No one attacks you, but now they're all gone

You see red, anger feeds you, could not comprehend

How somebody's tears are your favorite offend.

Now I'm gone, I wish I didn't disappear

My breath is now only a ghost, I couldn't see too clear

I see my corpse on the same floor, didn't believe when I was down,

You wish you'd had another chance, do you believe me

... now?

Never been

 

There's this story, never lived, that I know would screw me over

It's the story of a stranger that has never been my lover

There's a time I lived and loved, but I couldn't understand

How love could keep bringing trouble if you love and not pretend

There's this smile I used to have and this joy to live life fully

Stolen by this guy I loved and I never loved this truly

There's this fairytale I wrote and wrote me back, as it seems

People hurt you while you let them and rip your heart from the seams

But life isn't about pain, as the wisest people know

It's about how much you learn and to know when to let go

And love isn't about grieving, as the biggest empaths felt

It's about choosing yourself while the other's heart you kept.

There's this poem never written and this place I've never seen

Can't buy a ticket for it, as it's only in my dream

And the stranger - never lover - maybe was not even real

If he was, I've never been.

Doubt

 

I died on your altar, you fight with my ghost

You treated me poorly, I loved you the most.

Begged me, crying, to stay, "I'd do anything",

Then "I wouldn't apologize for what I did".

Abandoned the ship with my corpse on the ocean

Burned all of my pages I wrote with devotion

My spirit still haunts every hallway you walk

I bet you now wish that you'd get me to talk.

For granted you took me outside of this world

They think we're still together, 'cause that's what you told.

Now you try to find me, but I've been long gone

You forgot where you left me, alone, at the bar.

In the blink of an eye they stopped dancing and vanished

Time stopped, drank your potion of hatred, I perish,

But I can't go in peace, you would not let me die.

Promised I will stay frozen, "forever mine".

Put her back on the chair, say "I'll go get more shots",

While she turns to dark dust, like the smoke from your cuts.

Now the only sound there is her scream out your mouth

You got all benefits, and she died, all in doubt.

Home

 

Sitting on a black couch in the dress you never bought

As you go to that one wedding all alone, 'cause you forgot

I was pictured as "the loved one" and all the paint used was mine

Used to sing for you in your bed when you were my favorite line.

Looked up at the sky, holding you into my arms

Praying "please, God, make it worth it" through my tears that shot as guns

And you couldn't feel my pain until it turned to post mortem

Tried to count your sins and fix them, but you're struggling to hold them.

All the black paint in your house couldn't cover all these bruises

I was your most precious treasure, meanwhile you ran out of muses.

Tried to find the biggest prize, but you lost me on the way

Couldn't even find yourself, spinned in circles every day.

Couldn't change the prophecy, despite bargaining my soul

I tried everything I could and I'm left with letting go.

Tried to help you reach my love, it was too high, as it seemed

Climbed down to you on my own and my light is now so dimmed.

Now you want to bring me breakfast, you forgot to pick me up

When I tried to talk to you you just wanted me to stop

Walked myself home, I'm still going, not so sure where "home" now is

I just hope I'll find myself after healing from all this.

December

 

You kept me in a snow globe with the first snow of December

Spinned me around, so cold, we danced, it was all good, remember?

The same old bar, we got some shots, I knew your favorite spot.

The one you probably now hate is our last parking lot.

But if you knew, would you have listened? Looked at me while I was Still there?

Or hugged me tighter? Paint a glisten in my saddest ever stare?

Would you love me a bit better? Would you care like others did

when I wanted YOU the closest and you acted like a kid?

Would you envy my own lyrics or would hate the gifts I made?

Would your friends still think you're stupid? Would you ask me on a date?

Would you make me write my love or wear my grief like a medal?

At the end, would we begin? Would I still step on the pedal?

Would you take me to December?

Love

 

Love was a ball we kept throwing, wondering who'd catch it next

Some refused to give it back, others put it to the test.

Love was outside of the map, they spent ages looking for it

Some refused to come right back, others lied saying they knew it.

Love was dressed up as a painting, hidden window for the lovers

Some could only see it at night, while hiding under the covers.

Love was chosen as a weapon and mistaken for a wound

Some thought love was what they did, but love was more than they could.

Shadowed truth

 

The echo of my love is brushing on your shoulders like a ghost 

The kindness I portray reminded you of something that was lost

The silence broke the noise, the lights were out this time at night

You're taking off your coat, our hands now touch, to kiss we might.

We stayed hidden from our shadows, but our light keeps them awake

Trying to get used to love, I gave more than I could take

Feels so new to be so seen and my voice for you to seek

Puzzle pieces stick together every chance we get to speak.

As I'm holding onto you, carefully knocking on your door

I see our demon's still asleep, protecting what we're fighting for

We hear the sound of peace while others harmonize a war of silence

As we try to find our way, we are again each other's guidance.

Through mirrors everywhere we now draw a path to seek the truth

In war they painted over it, in love to keep it safe we could.